I found my happy place!

Ciao Bellas!
How is everyone?! How's 2012 going!?! I know it's been forever but I'm here and I'm ready to share!
Where to start..
Well, the last couple months have been.... life changing! In my previous blog posts, I expressed a lot of uncertainties. I was overloaded with stress. My life was soooo out of balance... its no wonder I was spiraling downward. Working 10-14 hour days... 6 days a week.. in a family business= no bueno. OH and.. living with my family.. who I work with.. eat with.. and dwell with.. doesn't help either!Welllllllllllll, since then... I've found my happy place!! I've been making an effort in creatingmargins in my life. Margins meaning.. boundaries when it comes to ethical choices, time for friends and myself, saving and paying off debt, etc.. I've also been growing a lot in my faith.. which in turn has really started changing my perspective in all aspects of my life! It's pretty exciting! But I guess I'll get more into that in the future!

Anyway I'm just going to post a few pictures and give you one of my random brainstorming updates!
Will that do for this post until next time?! =]
I hope so!!

Since November...of last year.. I've.. (note: *R2012= my 2012 resolutions that I've met!!)

• quit smoking (for good) *R2012
• joined a growth group at my church (Eastlakechurch.com) *R2012
• made a few girlfriends! *R2012
• traveled to San Francisco to meet the bf's extended family
• visited friends in San Jose w. the bf
• road tripped to Las Vegas with my best friend
• shot my first glock!!
• gotten my taxes done! LOL YAYYY!!
• went.. ring... viewing... trying... shopping?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Weeeee wentttttt tooo Tiffany's.... and a few other stores just to get an idea of what I was feeling!!!!) The 2 rings I'm in love with!!

1. The classic round!! I didn't really think I wanted this one.. but then I tried it on.. and stopped breathing!! It was soooooooooooooooooo beautiful! Simple and to the point!
2. The Grace... *speechless. LOL. Fell in love with this ring as soon as I saw it.. looks just as beautiful in person!!!

• waiting.. =] for the special moment sometime soon? Not sure.. but we're def.. moving towards that direction?!
• become a coffee + wine lover
• been falling in more love with my boyfriend.. June 21 is our 3 year!!
• re-prioritized my priorities!?
• saved 3 months income!
• since April 2011 have managed to pay down almost $14,000.00 of my student loans.. (started off at 60k.. and now I'm down to 46k!!) *R2012- to pay off 25% by April!! ($1000 more to go!)
• not spent any money on makeup!!! <-- WHAT?!?!!?
• did buy a pair of.. TOMS!! <--- LOVE!!
• gone to a Lakers game (bought tickets to lakers vs. miami for valentine's day as a present to the bf!! game was ok.. but.. the best part... DAVID BECKHAM! o.m.g. I think I stopped breathing LOL).





• managed to not lose a single pound LOL... but am completely happy =].

Picture time?!?!

Goodnight loves! <3

Read More

finding the balance..

Hey loves,
First I want to start off by saying thanks for all the advise and encouraging words :]. They truly are helpful and the fact that there's people listening (or reading) my random rants make me feel a whole lot better.

Ready for part 2?
Bare with me girls..
Since my last post, things have gotten worst. I'm definitely in pursuit of trying to change some things in my life. I was hoping that things would get better.... unfortunately this week ended up a complete ship wreck.

To be honest, I feel torn and broken. Why is it that I can't find peace? This week there was someone key in my life that said some really disgustingly hurtful words.. words that will never be forgotten. The situation at that moment has played in my head over and over and over and over... and now I can neither face or speak to the person...
The whole situation was just out of control. If you guys would've been there.. you'd probably have crapped your pants... lol..

Butttt worrry not!!! BEcauseeeee I'm okay now :]. Through the midst of all the crap I've been going through I am beginning to find some comfort in my faith..

Here's a question, is it odd to you girls that I'm so open with my life? Because it's not to me. There are people that I know that think I'm crazy for sharing so much about me but I feel that if I can help anyone learn from my experiences and save them the situations and circumstances that I went through.. why the heck not?

Anyway, the bf left for NY on Friday. He'll be there for 9 days.. which I thought wouldn't be a big deal because it isn't... BUTTTTTT drum role.. wth... I'm like.. lifeless without him here?

One word= Pathetic.

Seriously, yesterday I went to the gym... then came home, cleaned my room, did my laundry... and uh.. yeah.. did nothing else for the rest of the day ( except watch a bajillion episodes of... vampire diaries, grey's anatomy, private practice and some random alien show.. )

What's worst? My best friend just left to Europe for 2 weeks.
Great. SUPERB. AWEeesomee >.<

lol. ::sigh::

This pathetic version of Jinah needs to stop!!!!!!
Here's what it alllllll comes down tooooooo!

I need to..
-get out more
-get a life
-rediscover my passions
-get healthier
-love myself more
-acknowledge that his love is the only love that really matters
-respect myself
-gain more confidence
-stop doubting myself
-live life
-stop worrying about everyone around me
-stop stressing
-quit smoking
-etc.


On a good note there is one thing that is happening to me :]
I'm losing weight..

2 1/2 weeks= -10 lbs.

Interestingly I'm trying... and not trying..
I didn't start a few weeks ago thinking i'm going on a diet yadadada..
I just.. randomly... started going to the gym a few days a week with the bf..
then I naturally started eating a little lighter than normal..
and rather than cutting out all the foods I like.. I'm just.. eating half the amount that I normally eat WITHOUT making such a big deal out of it.
I'm not counting calories, or doing weight watchers points...
but I'm trying to avoid situations where I do mindless eating..

I don't know if it's the stress of everything that's happening.. or if I've just reached an epiphany.. but the weight is kind of shedding a lot easier than my previously forced attempts.

Anyway, I'm going to pursue this.. thing I'm doing lol.. not so much of a diet..
I'm ok with going to the gym only 3 times a week as long as I go at all..
and I'm ok with eating whatever as long as I don't obsessively devour it... lol. <--weirdo I know

Ok that's it for today..
Signing out,
-Jinah

Read More

Need a vaction. BAD!

Somebodyyyyyyyyyyyyy kickkkkkkkkk meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

I need a vacation.
Bad.
REALLY REALLY BAD.
I just want to runnnnnn awayyyyyyyyyyy. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!

The bills just won't stop coming in..
I can't focusssss on anything!

Why does it feel like.. I'm just working... my life away.

How do all of you girls balance a full social, love, work life?!

I get up.. I work... I come home.. I go to the gym... I go to sleep..
and same thing allllllllllll over again!

I need change.. but I don't know how and what part of everything I do I need to change?
Does any of this make sense?

Life is soooooooo repetitive and draining!
Someone give me some inspiratttttttttion :(

Read More

HellOOO!

Hello everyone? :)
I'm gonna avoid the whole yeah haven't updated.
I'm sure you girls are so use to it.. I don't even know if anyone still reads my blogs? LOL!

But just to get in the groove of blogging again.. I'm just gonna do a short post since I have a few minutes to spare at work.

So...
hmm...
quick rundown.
-Allen turned 30 a week ago!
-It was our 2 year anniversary 2 weeks ago.
-I officially am in debt forever now that my 450968540986456 students loans have kicked in.
-I've been stressing and thinking about what my plans are for the next few years.
-Thinking of going to Italy for a year? (It was a 50/50 before.. but my finances are making it less realistic)
-Work. work. work.
-My patience for random people is at a negative.
-I can't stand idiots.
-Work is stressful.
-I recently joined a meetup group for asian ladies in SD.
-I recently bought an ukulele.
-I love Michael Bubble.
-I've gained a few pounds.lol. so much for summer.
-I'm in love with my church in San Diego. (It is beyond amazing.)
-I'm aching to shop but I'm trying to focus on saving and paying off my debt. LOL.
-I caught some guy trying to steal at my store (ridiculous cause the store is inside of a courthouse where there are 3495830495 sheriffs)
-Some lady tried to pull off that she was homeless, divorced, broke, ex military, disabled to get free food... complete bull. (I ended up paying for her food out of my pocket cause she wouldn't stop... whining.. and frankly I felt bad.. stupid me.. the next day.. she came in fully made up.. pretending to be someone else. -_- and managed to by all this junk food.

Ok that's it for now..
I think I might be posting a vlog tonight on youtube?
Sorry for the short rundown!! Butttttttttt I'm going to tryyyyy to atleast write something!

Miss you all.
-Jinah :)

Read More

Day 9

Hey girls!
Today is day 9... and I'm feeling pretty good I think. I'm still hurting from Wednesday... I can barely squat to sit cause my legs hurt so much. AnywhoOOoO~

If you missed out on my recent update video.. I weighed in on Wednesday.
Last week I was 176..
this week I weighed in at:

It's crazy right?! Who would've thought... 6.6 pounds!!!!! Typically that sort of weight loss is something you see on Biggest Loser, not at home!

This just proves that with hard work and dedication it's VERY POSSIBLE to lose weight...

I do have to say though, that I am a bit worried that some of the younger girls watching me might be doing what I'm doing except maybe.. not eating much at all... or something like that..

I just want you guys to know that I do NOT eat any LESS than 1200 calories a day. I hope that for those of you that are on this journey with me.. you're doing it the right way :) It's possible!! I promise!! You just have to be true to yourself and work hard! No excuses!!! I would hate knowing that my weight loss would make someone... cut corners... does that make sense?

I was talking to my mom yesterday... and how she really needs to lose weight.. not to get skinny but because she's borderline diabetic. My mom's problem is not so much exercising but more so her eating habits. Statistics wise, she's roughly 5'2 and about 180.. it worries me ALOT. So... oddly at her weight.. you would think it's because she's eating all sorts of junk and all day at that right? Wrong. She only eats once a day because she's so busy.. literally. So I'm pretty sure the reason why she's overweight is because she only eats once a day.

Ok to breakdown this is how it works.. by eating once a day.. your body knowwwwwsss that you're not going to feed it anything.. so it stores everything you eat straight into your storage fat.. so that it can survive. Your metabolism slowsssss downnnnnn almost like when you sleep... and it remains that way until you feed it. Now.. I'm almost positive that if my mom eat 3-5 times a day... and even 1600-1800 calories she would start losing weight. Your metabolism kicks in when you keep feeding it..... the more often you feed it.. the faster your body metabolizes the food.. which is whyyy skinnny people who eat ALOTTTTT don't gain weight! Their metabolism is soooo high that it just processes all the food instantly.. (which is why it comes out of their butt so fast too LOL).

I think this is also the reason I got the numbers I did this week..

Last year when I lost weight... I did cardio MUCH longer at the gym... and I ate less... anddddd I didn't eat as frequent during the day... so I lost about... 3 pounds a week.. roughly.. but this time.. I'm doing lessss cardio.. and eating more.. and I'm losing more!

okkkkkk enough with the jibber..... lol. sorry >.<

So... I haven't posted any pictures in a while.. so I'm going to show you guys a few random from the last few months.. enjoy :)

me in my service uniform..

Caterina.. the italian restaurant at my school (served here for 3 weeks)

the kitchen i worked in for 3 weeks in this restaurant

right before service.. my professor made us have a spoon of this nasty italian spirit.. to ward off any bad spirits LOL.. italian tradition?

my favorite group at school....

In front of the restaurant I did my externship at for 6 months.. last year :)

The night before graduation... we.. alll.. goottt... hammmereeeeed!!!!!!

graduation.. guess who's next to the president of the school? :)

I'll post again tomorrow.. maybe with more pictures? :)

Btw.. allen is coming home today from NY... and i'm stoked... i miss him... way too much. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

81 days to go.....

Read More