my life as it is.. i.m.perfect

Monday, March 25, 2013

Wedding RSVP Rants

I need to rant!!!!
I'm so frustrated and heart broken. Out of the 40-50 plus people we've invited on Allen's side, only eight are coming. Yes, eight. You would think that with the absence of his deceased father, his relatives would make an extra effort to attend? No? Does that NOT make any sense?! I mean it's difficult as it is to have his mother say that she's not attending= NO PARENTS on his side.. and now, NONE of his 50+ relatives are even making an effort to come. PATHETIC.


Did I mention that Allen is the eldest and first son on his extended families side to get married? I mean the entire situation is flipping ridiculous. 

I'm so heated. The ONLY family member attending is his younger brother. WOW. I'm not a bitter person and I absolutely believe in forgiveness, but this?! This is just... unforgivable. They're all cut off. EVERY SINGLE one of them. ESPECIALLY his other sibling. She's nonexistent to me and my future family.

Ok, to make matters worst, aside from his four groomsmen, only four others are attending. THIS IS NOT NORMAL RIGHT?! I mean, honestly?! Allen is the most amazing and loyal friend you can ask for. He's been in so many weddings himself as a groomsmen and half the people that he was a groomsmen for, aren't even coming. Really?!

With me feeling this way, I can only imagine how Allen truly feels. I'm trying not to explode in front of him and trying to comfort him but I'm so fired up inside. I won't forget this. They've burned a bridge.

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Thursday, March 14, 2013

2013. This is my year.

Hey Loves!

I'm back and relaunching EVERYTHING! This year is my year! 2013... you are going to be amazing!  
So, I have so much to catch up on but I'm just going to do the same quick run down that I always do.

May 2012  Engaged 
July 2012 Moved to Queens, NY 
  • Fell completely flat and went MIA. (Bad time for me, lonely because I moved again, frustrated because I was getting too comfortable at home, unemployed because I moved/ figuring out what exactly I wanted to do, gained weight being a couch potato/ house wife)
November 2012 Reached a stinking 177.5 lbs. WTH!!! Thanksgiving.. *SMH

February 2013 applied to be on My Fair Wedding with David Tutera  
  • So we got into the the preliminaries but ultimately we weren't what the show was looking for. They were looking for the bridezilla type... -_- 
  • Didn't get into My Fair Wedding but... it kicked me into high gear. I forced myself to make a video/ update and since then.. I've been at it!

  • On Feb. 1 just last month, I hopped on my sister's bandwagon and gave her weight loss program called Take Shape for Life a chance.
  • My first week I lost 6 pounds. WOW! LOL was ecstatic! Here are the stats.
    • Week 1/Starting weight: 169 lbs. 
    • Week 2/ 163 lbs. 
    • Week 3/159 lbs.
    • Week 4/ 156 lbs.
    • Week 5/ 154.6 
    • Total Loss in 5 weeks: -14.4 lbs. 
  • My journey to becoming a happier and healthier me is a real one! I am beyond determined to reach my goal this year.
  • Three weeks into my program, I decided to become a Health Coach with TSFL. Although I'm still losing weight, I found this as an opportunity to keep myself accountable/ help others
March 2013 I am Coaching full time and absolutely love it. I've met so many amazing girls in the last month. Nothing is more satisfying than helping others. I TRULY am blessed at the opportunity to do this with so many!
  • Bachelorette party is coming up. So excited to see some long missed friends!
What is to Come:
  • My first ever MEET & GREET!! Mark your calendars! APRIL 7, 2013- IRVINE SPECTRUM at 1:00pm right by Starbucks where all the lounge chairs are ^^. I'm crazy doing this 2 weeks before my wedding. Don't know what I was thinking. LOL
  • My wedding. Heh. I am in the works to streaming my wedding live. 
  • I am in FULL BLOWN Wedding planning mode. Wedding series will be coming up in the next week!! LOTS of videos to come!
  • April 20, 2013 getting hitched. =) Jinah Yu? :)

I'm so happy to be back!!  Thank you to all for all the continual support. I am excited and like some of the girls have been telling me for the last few years, I'm giving Youtube a chance. 

P.S. Yes, I will be focusing on filming more cooking videos post wedding. Stay tuned because it's going to be a blast! Indulge in some of my foods?

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Monday, June 18, 2012

Wedding planning chaos.

This venue?! Or that venue?! This date or that date?! $$$$$$$$. Omg.
I wish I could win one of those wedding show thingymajiggys where the celebrity wedding planners just plan the wedding for you. So many decisions to make! DISLIKE!

At least..  I'm making some sort of progress.

What I'm working on now:
  •  booking our venue! (I've been stressing over this for the last 3 weeks. Every venue is just.. soooo over my budget! Really hoping that this venue in Carlsbad works out for me.) (http://thecrossingsatcarlsbad.com/) <-- *crosses fingers, I'll be checking it out this weekend with my mom & hopefully my sister since Allen's in New York =( 

  • our guest list.. it's looking like we'll be inviting roughly 125-150 people. YIKES!!!! >.<
  • our wedding party. Allen's pretty much done asking his groomsmen and I'm pretty close to finishing the final questions with my bridal party :] I have to be quiet honest though, it has been one heck of a hard decision. I mean I've moved over 10 times and have friends from all over.. who the HECK do I ask? Most of my friends are really distant from me now. I may have known them for over a decade but.. they just aren't on the same page as me. Makes me sad. But  I am really grateful that my sister & a few friends put it into perspective for me.. "The people you ask should be the people you want to celebrate the most important day of your life with".. not people I feel obligated to... not people who pretend to be close to me.. or people who come and go in my life.. It should be the people who phone/text bombed me as soon as they found out.... who screamed with joy to share the moment with me.. who practically cried with me! ::sigh:: Makes me feel a lot better =]. 
  • our photographer. BEYOND excited about my photographer!!!!!! I've asked Mel (labellemel) a good friend & a fellow Youtube/Blogger guru to do the honor of being Allen and I's photographer which she 100% didn't even hesitate with!! I'm soooooooooooo excited and thrilled  that she'll be with me on my wedding day!!! It gives me so much peace of mind since she's someone I know and trust! Her photos by the way are just jaw dropping. Eeeeeeee!! Can't wait! HOpefully she can come a little early so she can partyyyyy heartyyyyy with us!! (RIGHT MEL!?!?!?)  
I know you girls recognize her!! =] 
  • centerpieces. So I recently ordered 20 manzanita trees. I saw a few centerpieces online and was completely obsessed with them. Lol didn't even discuss it with anyone.. Hopefully they turn out well! It'll look similar to the one below except I'm gonna use trees that are a bit bigger, with white silk flowers that somewhat look like cherry blossoms! I plan to paint the middles of the flowers yellow so that they could incorporate my wedding colors!! (Grey, yellow & white). Of course lots of jewels, candles & instead of a vase, I'm probably going to put it in a very articulate wooden box. I'll probably paint the box grey with maybe a white or yellow ribbon? Thinking of putting stones on the bottom too since our venue is actually made of stone & wood! Not sure yet though =] WE'll SEEEEEEeeee!!

more manzanita centerpieces I'm in loveeeee with!! 
 Kind of like these two!!!!! Except white & yellow!! Don't you love it?! IIIIII LOveeeee itt <3

These are the flowers I wan't to put on the treeeeeee!! Holy cow.. it's going to be so much work though. It would be awesome if I could just get a craft party together to help!

  • wedding colors. definitely DEFINITELY grey, yellow & white!! The colors represent Allen & I to the Tee!! 

It brings such a modern/ chic feel to it right?! 

I love the idea that the girls are wearing yellow shoes! I was thinking yellow TOMS!! Since I loveeeeeeeeee toms! =] But we'll see.. Pumps are definitely cute. I just suck at wearing them! LOL.
Such a tomboy. ::sigh:: how did I ever become a Youtube guru?!?! 0_o I have no idea. lol.

  • bridesmaids dresses!!  I have my eye on a few!! What do you girls think? 
I like this color grey and definitely love the pockets on this dress! Even the length! I'm thinking for my sister (the matron of honor) I'll have her wear a long dress? Love the dresses at this site... www.watters.com 

Ehhh I think that's it!!!!!! For now at least. Jeez. 3 weeks of staying up late... and 6 hour/ day research... = just this much work!? Pathetic right?!?! 

I just hope it's making sense. I'm working for a modern/ chic wedding!

OH yeah and umm.. so I went to the wedding store.. and tried on the Vera Wang dress I plan to get.... LOL... 

Omg. =( I seriously have to lose the weight and PRONTO! LOl. I refuse to look at any other dresses... 

lol I wish you girls could've seen my face.. PURE EMBARRASSMENT!! I tried it on... for like... 2 seconds.. lol.. then threw it off LOL. 

Not stepping back into the store until I lose at least 30 pounds. YUP!!

Conclusion: Fred (My besty) and I are starting his diet tomorrow.. It's called the SLOW CARB DIET. LOL. Apparently I'm not allowed to have any rice, flour, bread, sugar, etc.etc.etc.

rofl. we'll see how that goes.
OH YES. I KNOW. IT'S BAD TO CUT OUT CARBS. AND YES. IT'S BAD TO GO ON A HARDCORE DIET. PLEASEEEEEEE save me the diet lectures though =( I've done them enough to know. LOL but at this point I'm willing to do whatever with whomever! =] 

Our goal for the week= -4 pounds!!

Okkkk girls till next time!!!!!


p.s. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE CONGRATULATION COMMENTS! It warms my heart to know how many people are sharing this moment with me! Because in all honesty, I really haven't shared it with many! I truly adore all of you!! 

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Sunday, June 10, 2012

I said yes..

it's so beautiful.

Heh.. I'm still kind of dazed by the whole thing..
It's pretty pathetic to say, but I never thought in a million years... maybe in my dreams yes.. but definitely not in reality that a man would love me so much.

I use to think as I was growing up that I would probably be that girl.. the one that settled for some sore loser. I had such low self esteem that I thought that settling was my only option. Who would love such a girl? I imagined myself getting married to a prince charming.. but thought in reality that I would end up marrying some guy... who couldn't get a job... who lived with his parents.. was shorter than me... lazier than me.. and completely hopeless.

Definitely not Allen

Hehe.. anyway, it happened and I'm thrilled!! He was so sweet about the whole thing.
In short..

-He asked my parent's permission.
-My mom blurrteeed the whole thing to me ahead of time. fml.
-My dad ends up announcing the whole thing over dinner. fml. FYI- Allen begged him not to tell me. poor Allen lol.
-Allen delays the proposal since the whole plan was ruined.
-THe day he was suppose to propose ended up a complete disaster (he tried to propose at the beach in Coronado.. EXCEPT.. it was starting to rain.. it was windy... sand was in our face.. lol... didn't happen. DInner was then completely ruined by a racist bartender, a crappy server, a group of drunk people who thought Allen was the valet guy.. fml. -Proposal didn't happen).
-Went to Vegas with the family for memorial weekend.. hotel ended up being crappy and every attempt at Allen trying to pop the question was just fail after fail. LOL funny because I was dying for the ring.. I knewwwwwww it was in his pocket.. SO CLOSE yet SO FAR!!!!! He still refused to give it to me until the right moment.
-The day after Vegas.. was his departure day.. (He got a job in New York.. so he was leaving CA for good).
-It was on this day.. May 29th that he asked me.
-Happened on a 1 hour harbor cruise around downtown SD.
-We had laughed about the last 2 weeks... about how unconventional this was. How we're meant to never get the first time around right.. lol. We made an awkward... stressful situation into an everlasting memory of complete humor.
-The moment it happened...

I was standing on the deck against the rail of the boat.. looking out at downtown.. He had his arms around me.. We were just enjoying the weather and our last few hours before his flight... when he whispered in my ear as he was putting on the ring.. if I would marry him...

heh. Not gonna lie.. let's just pause because I LITERALLY don't remember much more after that... LOL!! I saw the ring and was so surprised that my mind kind of blanked out... The size of the BLING just kind of made me choke!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

And then comes... epic fail # 4309458034985... the ring.... stopped at my 2nd joint LOLLLLLLLL!!!!! (don't worry it fits now) WAHAHAHAHA

Anyway.. I laughed my heart out and screamed and giggled and wowed myself for a few hours..
He was thrilled that I was thrilled.

As I sat down on one of the benches... he told me.. that he would've bought me no less of a diamond.. because I was worth so much more.. .... shutter!!!!!!!!!!! My heart skipped a few beats.. I've never really felt so loved in my life!!

I'm telling you!! I haven't been able to sleep the last few weeks! I keep waking up in the middle of the night to look at my ring!! lOL! I'd wake up... look at it... SCREAmm!!! Admire it.. and fall back asleep! WAAahahahahahahaha

So yeah! That's the whole story..

BUT nowwwww for the good stuff!!!!

I have sooooooooooooooooo many things to do!!

-Lose weight (I'm down 8 pounds since the day after Allen proposed!!! MOTIVATED!!)
-buy my dress (I already have it picked but I'm not buying it until I lose some weight dangit!!) This is what I have my heart set on... good thing Allen promised me wouldn't check my blog!

(the one on the right is the one!!)
-find a photographer
-find a dj
-find a venue
-figure out the catering situation
-ask all my bridal party.. which.. BY THE WAY!!! I ASKED MY BESTESTESTEST FRIEND FRED.. TO BE MY BRIDESMAN!!!!!!! LOL!!!!! I know it's unconventional.. but HEY!! Allen and I are unconventional!! Anddddd I can't have my wedding without my bestest friend!! I love him dearly!!

Here's the card that I made to ask him!

His reaction.. was PRICELESS...
He was quiet for a few minutes... then looks at me and says.. "IS this allowed!?" ROFL.
Then he said heck yes!! And then.... we laughed.. and laughed.. and laughed..
I promised him he didn't have to wear a dress. LOL

-My colors?
-The date- September 21, 2013!

If you guys have anyyyyyyyyyy wedding advice pleaseeeeee adviseee!!
I'm on a sore budget.. and practically had my first breakdown the other day over the overwhelming cost of the whole thing!
Allen and I will be charging a good lump of it :(.
Budget: $15,000 >.<

Will update you guys more soon!

OO and by the way!! I bought this new Remington 1 1/2 curling iron without the clamp thing at Target for $30.00!! IT's AMAAAzzzing!! Look at these waves!?!?! I'm IN LOVE with it!!!
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Sunday, April 15, 2012

The end of Week 1 was great!

Hey Loves!
So before I hit the sack I thought I'd blog about this past week.
As far as weight goes I've lost 7 pounds.. although I'm pretty sure I gained 2-3 from the weekend LOL which puts me at a -3 or 4?

Anyway, I'm not quiet comfortable with posting how much I weigh just yet but I will soon once I get back on the fast track!

So yeah...
I've been keeping track of my calorie burn with this nifty little gadget I bought called BodyMedia Fit Armband from Costco.. It's pretttttttttty AWESOME. You wear the armband throughout the day (and night) to keep track of things like..
ehh instead of listing it I'll just show you guys!

Here's a snapshot of the data (note: you can click on each category and it'll show you more specific details)
It's not cheap but it's a good investment. It really helps me push myself! The only thing is, is that you have to input what you consume (which you've probably noticed is not exactly up to speed on data). lol. Anyway I know how much I generally eat so I don't really spend too much time on that. You're probably thinking wth did you really burn 3500 calories?!! Yeah... which is why I'm pretty exhausted by the time I get home. My job is really really REALLY physical not to mention I work out on top of that.

Getting sleepy.. not really focusing right now so I'm going to finish this post later!

Just real quick though..

Here's my workout routine:
Mondays & Fridays= AM workout 5am-6am. 1 hour of hard cardio-> Ellipticals @ level 6-10 for 30-45 min... and Treadmill running @ 5.5 mph-6.1 mph for about 15 minutes.
PM workouts= Ellipticals for 20 mins @ same levels and Treadmill-> I run 1 mile.

Tuesday-Thursday= PM workouts= same as my morning workouts except I add 30 minutes of strength training. I workout my Arms+ Abs on Tuesday, Legs + Butt on Wed, Back + Abs Thurs

As far as what I've been eating:
Breakfast- 1 slice Whole wheat toast with 2 egg whites, spinach & tomatoes
1 english muffin with jelly & 1 tsp of cream cheese + a 80 calorie yogurt

Snack- Nuts or Yogurt

Lunch- 1/2 sandwich on whole wheat with lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, onions, jalapenos, mustard, 1/4 of an avocado & red bell pepper. (sometimes I'll add an egg white)
Grilled chicken salad (lots and lots and LOTS of veggies) dressing= balsamic vinegar and a weeeee bit of olive oil ORRRR I'll just sub in some avocado

Snack- Water. lol.

Dinner- THIS IS MY DEATH. I usually eat about 500-600 calories for breakfast, lunch & snack combined.... I purposely do this because for some reason when I get home at night I end up splurging on some crazy meal which usually is between 500-1000 calories and maybe even more!!

I burn on avg. 3000 calories a day Monday-Friday
I eat: between 1400-2000 calories a day

Saturday+Sunday= Dooms day.

End post. =( have to be up in 5 1/2 hours =( NOOOOO!

Goal this week--> -2 lbs.

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Sunday, April 8, 2012

Happy Easter!

Hey Loves!

Happpyyyy EASTERR!!!!!

[picture of my nephews last year with the creepy looking Easter bunny LOL! Who wouldn't be scared!! :( Poor Daniel. lol]

Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed the beautiful weather outside!

Sooo after surveying everyone, I've decided that I'm going to keep my long hair! Some of the advice that I got makes perfect sense.. Because I have wavy hair it would be a pain in the arss if I had to straighten it everyday.. T-T Fail. I do wish I could've tried the hair at least once.. I just don't have the patience. Besides that, I've also lost A LOT of hair in the past year.. I think by half. The only explanation I can come up with is stress. I've learned my lesson I tell ya! STRESS=EVIL!! Evil for your body.. evil for you!!

Just absolute no bueno!!

So anyway, today I was talking to the bf asking him what I should do to motivate myself to start hitting the gym again.. and his response was that he would contribute to giving me an incentive.. so I jokingly asked him, "like..... a $$ incentive?!?!?!" .. I kind of laughed out a... $1000 shopping spree LOLLLLLL and his response? $1500!!!!! if I reach my weight loss goal of reaching 135 pounds!!!!!!!!

$1500!!! It's on.. lol
I've been feeling pretty sluggish lately and it's def. time to start losing some weight again. You girls already know how it goes.. I gain.. I lose.. I gain... I lose..
Unfortunately I'm not a very balanced person even if I try to be lol.. I go to one side of the spectrum or the other..
But it's something I'm working on!!

Anyway!! I was posting on my facebook page that maybe I should also give you girls an incentive this time to workout and reach your goals with me?!!?
Maybe a care package (lots of makeup and other random stuff?!)
I'll do like a 1st prize-3rd prize thing!!
It'll be a fun way for everyone to join in on reaching their goals and maybe if you girls also want a $$ incentive everyone who wants to make it more official can donate $5-$20 into a large cash prize pot! It'll be like biggest loser.. for us girls! :] 100% of the money will go to 3 diff. winners?
Ooo I'm already liking the idea!!

Let me know what you girls think!

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Wednesday, April 4, 2012

To chop.. or not to chop?

Hey girls!! I'm debating whether I should chop my hair. >.<
PLleaseeeeeeeeeee help me decide with a yes or no!

The picture up top.. is kind of what it would look lik
e?! I haven't had it that short since... elementary school.. and I kind of think i
t's time for a change!
Different stage in life= different style?
But I can't tell if it suits m
e or not!

<3 Thanks in advance!
(side note: my hair is about 4 inches from my butt.. I recently trimmed it)
OHH YEAH! And by the way lOL.. the website I used to play with the first picture is a really fun website! Should try it out if you gals are thinking of doing a dramatic change in hairstyle?

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