my life as it is.. i.m.perfect

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

totally want to stay in my room forever.

Compared to yesterday.
today has been ultimately one of the shittiest days ever.

1.) I completely bombed my Gastronomy test. Yes. bombed. I got 8 out of 15. =(. BUT it didn't hit me till way later. On my test my professor wrote come see me during office hours. Ok... so i decide to see her after my food safety class..

So.. I was in my food safety class... everything was fine.. i took my food safety test today and got a 85%.. ehh. a B. not bad.. . then we went on break for 5 minutes. I go to the bathroom and see spots. Great. I frigging started my period AGAIN. that makes it TWICE this month. LOVELY. I don't ever get irregular periods.. so i'm freaking out.. just cause.. i don't have a pad or a tampon with me.. and I'm in business attire clothes.. so I'm worried.. cause i don't have anything to cover up.. or what not.. so i just use toilet paper.. and walk to class all funky.. I sit down.. class starts again.. and all i can feel is leakking..... i pull out my phone.. and text my girlfriend to see if she has any pads.. and if she can meet me with it right after class.. in the midst of the text.. my asshole of a professor calls me out. He goes.. "Esther! are you TEXTING in my class?!!?" instinctively cause i'm freaking out I lie. NO. he says.. "stand up" great.... so i do.. and of course my phone falls... but that's not the worst.

He starts asking me question after question.. and starts asking me every question about our lecture for the next 15 minutes. I'm totally losing my head.. so i answer EVERY question WRONG. NO SHIT!!!!!!!1 all i could think about was.. fuck.. i have stains. fuck. i'm leaking. fuck.

great. so then he decides to laugh at me the whole time in class.. while i answer every question wrong.. then gives me the.. you're stupid look... THEN he says.. come sit in the front right in front of me every day now.

great. so you'd think it's over with right? no.
On the way out of class he decides to humiliate me more by making fun of me.. and my texting.. and my stupidity.

I shake it off.. and i walk to my professors office to talk to her about my grade for gastronomy.. and bam.. there he is. to the side.. my food safety professor is in the same room.. i'm humiliated.. and the reality of FAILING a test has finally hit me.
so i start crying. i try to stop. i hide my face. but i freaking can't stop. for the freaking love of crap. I COULDN'T STOP CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
embarrassing. humiliating.


thennnn there's a line of my classmates outside waiting to talk to her also.. and on the way out everyone just stares at me..

then i still can't stop crying.. cause my hormones are going NUTS!~!!!!

so now i'm in my room.
and i don't want to leave it.
i feel like an idiot.

I studied so hard for my gastronomy test. that's all i've been doing. studying. studying. studying.

just wanted to vent.
i'll be back tomorrow in a better mood =(


snoshhie said...


i'm sorry girl =(
you should definitely go to your adviser and tell them about your jerk of a professor. it's really unprofessional for him to do that.


Francesca said...

Don't worry hun, it'll get better♥

~Mel said...

awww hun! but it's really not right for the professor to humiliate you like that.. u are in a higher-learning education, not in middle school.. that professor should act a bit more professional.. i'm not sure if u want to call attention to the prof's teaching habit but that's not right. hang in there! hope tomorrow's a better day. =/

Jheanelle said...

Aww Jinah. But you definitely need to talk to your advisor and explain the situation. Your professor was way out of line for that.

Hope your week gets better! =]

CAMELLIA said...

awww jinah !! i'm so sorry this happened to you. your professor is so immature.. i'm sorry again for all of this<3 i hope you feel better ^^* we're here for you<3

Beauty is Androgynous said...

that sucks.
im sorry i hate bad days like that.

well all you can do is try to talk w/ ur proffs to seeif u can get help in order to pass your tests or see if u can maybe re take it or get tips on waht you did wrong.

XRocksmama said...

Sorry for the bad day... yes, tomorrow will be a better day. Hang in there!

Tracey06x said...

awww im so sorry that you had to go through that day.....and the professer was so stupid .I hope you feel better soon hunnie!!
tracey xxxxxxxxx

shirley said...

jinah! i've been a reader since the beginning of this year and i just want to say i absolutely love your blog. i admire you so much for being so courageous! stay strong. oh yeah you took down your addy i was going to send a box of goodies too. oh and i wanted to know if it is strictly korean snacks/foods you want or is it open ended. can you send korean side dishes through the mail? anyhoo email me!

VanityMakeup said...

Awwww, i hope you feel better soon.

hummiemd said...

the way to deal with this is to deal with the professor and tell him that you were texting your friend to see if she had female products. and his behavior was humiliating and unprofessional. call him out on his crap. you're all adults and human beings. no excuse for him to be a cunt. why? because he can cook and teach? congrraaatulations. chin up, darling. be well! - JJ

BAMF Accessories said...

your real name is Esther?
and that sucks!

mszcheysser said...

Hello Jinah.

I had been an avid reader of your blog for months. But I finally got myself a account. Yay! Anyways.

That professor was so messed up. He reminds me of my professor. He likes to call on me too. :( And I usually get off my graveyard shift at 800 to attend his 930 class so I am usually tired. And I get really, really sick of it. (And it IS embarassing) But what I try to do is to not take it personally. If he pulls another stunt like that again, have a adult-adult conversation with him. I did the same thing with my other professor. I felt so tired of being targeted. But once I talked to him, he came to realization what he was doing to me. & Everything worked out fine. (And also, I cried as well. Weh)

But anyways, don't be so sad. We all deserve a little break. :( Just think of it, tomorrow will have a brighter, bluer sky!

Anyways, other than that, congratulations on doing a great job with school. I would had love to cook, but I'm scared of knifes! LOL. Take care :)


Shelly said...

awwwww :/
That professor treats you like its elementary school. Truly immature and unprofessional. Not to mention that your money = his paycheck. lol
Just remind him that since you paid for your classes, you decide how to behave in them.

You'll pull through eventually Jinah :)

We all love ya!


it's okay to be emotional sometimes.. it only proves you're human :)

Whit said...

Hey hun, gosh I think we all have humiliating period stories- it sucks being a girl sometimes!! Anyway, where do you go to school? I live in San Diego too!!

DSKNguyen said...

aww babe, I hope you feel better!

I'm rootin' for ya ;)

Sharon said...

Awh, hope all is going well! Keep your chin up!!

Anonymous said...

No way should he treat you like that Jinah. You shouldn't have put up with it.

But awww sweety. Starting your period and having all that happen...I would've cried too! Hope things are getting better for you. x

Bratt a tat tat said...

i totally feel for u, that's something that probably would've happened to me...

i know how hard it is moving far away for school and it happened to me, but it made me so independent and made my relationships with friends, family and SO stronger...

Ive seen all of your videos and read thru u're blogs and i realized that u're the sister that i've never had but really strong jinah and i miss ure posts and videos...can't wait for them...

Go Fighting!!!<--aahahaha, sorry i had to add that bcuz it makes me laugh whenever I hear ppl say that and wanted to put a smile on ure face too...

Dee said...

I'm so sorry that had to happen to you. Makes you want to punch the crap of the guy. T_T ARGH. I wanted to let you know that you're the first person I did a feature on for youtuber of the month. Keep on making those awesome vids! Keep your head up hun and I hope you feel better soon! *hugs*

20ribbinz09 said...

oh wow my name is Esther too! I thought your name was Jinah though....

20ribbinz09 said...

That professer seemed really mean! :3 BTW

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