my life as it is.. i.m.perfect

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Reality Check

Hey loves,
So my vacations coming to an end.. "vacation".
Sadly to say, I didn't do much. LOL. I've been working day in and day out helping my parents out at their cafe.. Oh the joys of working with your entire family. LOL I missed them sooooooooooo much in New York.. and lol it's just funny.. how you miss someone so much yet even though you've missed them that much.. enough time spent can make your head spin. AHHHAHAHAHa..
But anyway.. yeah.. i'm ready to go back. Working at a slowwwwwww paced cafe... where all i do is.. cook and be bored.. well.. that hasn't done me any good. I can feeeeeel the blubber coming back. LOL!

My pants are getting tight again... my new pants that is.. DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!11 Truthfully it's disappointing.. and the worst thing.. I CRAVE MORE JUNK FOOD. MAn, I'm telling you... junk food is the DEVIL! It's frigging addicting... I mean seriously.. i CAN EAT SO MUCH! It's scary.. Here at home.. I can eat and eat and eat and eat..

LOL.. I told Allen (the bf).. well no.. I've been TELLING the bf for the past week that he'd better be ready to welcome home an OOMPA LOOMPA for a gf. LOL.
Just to make it sound worst.. i told him i gained 25 pounds. AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHa. that makes me feel somewhat better.
In reality i think i gained back 5 pounds. DUN DUN DUN. sad sad sad.. all that hard work.
But i guess i expected it you know? All my family does is ask me what i want to eat..
and really i've been eating EVERYTHING
I get what i ask for right?!

On another note.. I hope you ladies aren't going downhill like me. lol give me some inspiration!!
I'm starting to worry that when i get back to NY i won't have the self discipline to start eating healthy again. It's really scary how eating a lil bit of junk food can become into an addiction.
IT IS AN ADDICTION!!

realize it.
gotta change it.

ANYWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
I've been going to MEXICO for the past 3 days... because i have no insurance.. so i've been getting my teeth done.

Ready to hear the damage?!?!
Oh how embarassing AHAHAHA.
I had 4 cavities.. and i got 2 root canals!! RIGht?! I deserve it. I knew it was coming..
The dentist= my ultimate fear since i was 5.
Shots= my death.
I cried.
and
cried.
LOL.
to compensate for my pain.. my daddy and i had tacos.. and more tacos..
LOL!

AHAHAHAHHAHAH.
Love how everything I've done has to do with food.
oh boy..

besides my teeth let's get on to some real talk...
San Diego is now officially just.. my family's home.
I've been kinda down... cause none of the friends that i thought were my friends... even called me?
It's sad cause i hate burning bridges..
it's just... yeah.
There's one person in particular i'm pretty bummed about.
I called and called and called..
no answer.. no call back.
so much for girlfriends LOL!
It's all good right!?

I mean..
I really do want to maintain my girlfriends.. cause.. i feel like it's so important.
I don't necessarily have many.. because i find it rare for someone to be real with me.. but the few that i have... i cherish..
But why should i value them so much if they don't value me equally?
The good thing... i really have alot of good guyfriends? LOL.
I mean love them dearly!!
They're such goof balls.. and so down.. and so real.
I love it.
No bullshit.
If you call them and ask them let's do something.
They're down.
No excuses.. no erss.... no akwardness..
We'll do jack crap.. and it'll still be chill =]
One of my besties Fredddy and I went to guitar center the other day so he can buy a ukalale? is that how you spell it?
Then we went to Yogurt world and jammed outside the rest of the night
chill right?!
Or my friend Hai and I just talked and caught up outside of Starbucks... and it's always nice drinking coffee on a good summer night!

On to randomness.
I'm scared to get on camera LOL
I'm afraid to see my weight gain.
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
but i am ecstatic to see Allen.
Beyond ecstatic.
He... is still and will continue to be amazing.
One in a million i tell you :)

Anyway..
I guess i'll talk to you ladies later?! I'm gonna look for my camera battery cause maybe.. just maybe... i'll make video tonight.
On what?! I have no idea!

<3


19 comments:

eri said...

"I really do want to maintain my girlfriends.. cause.. i feel like it's so important.
I don't necessarily have many.. because i find it rare for someone to be real with me.. but the few that i have... i cherish..
But why should i value them so much if they don't value me equally?"

OMG it's like you pulled thoughts right out of my mind!!! i've been struggling with that myself. the BF says to drop them b/c who wants friends who doesn't cherish you as much as you do them? but i feel like dropping them would make me just like them. what to do? what to do?

cerinebabyy; yiyi said...

haha that was such a nice post to
read about. i know exactly what you
mean about girlfriends. it's so hard
to maintain as opposed to friendships
w/ guys ...

5 lbs is nothing jinah. as long as
you're healthy it's all good. we all
reach for doritos once in a while

xoladiihoneyxo said...

5 lbs. is nothing hun! remember... VACATION!!! just stay healthy and by the time you come back to NY, you'll have the motivation to go to the gym and eat healthier. You have to give yourself a break sometimes. Don't overstress it. You've done a good job =]

I find it's hard to have real girl friends that they can cherish it as much as I cherish it. It's pretty sad. I envy girls who have great friendships. Sadly, I don't have friends like that who I can count on or even talk to much anymore... I guess it's just life. Personally, I think guys maintain their friendships better than us girls.. they're more down to earth than most girls so I guess that's one of the reasons why.

urzafar said...

last week i went to an old friends bridal shower. i was debating whether or not to go because we hadnt spoken in over a year and the last time we did it was when i called her on HER birthday. she didnt even bother to remember mine. im the kind of person that would rather burn a bridge then try to make it work but in the end i went because i just wanted this last memory to be a good one. even though im only 20 im realizing how important it is to be self-sufficient. and im like you jinah i only really have one good girl friend and the rest are guy friends. guys have less drama and what you see is what you get. too many girls are too fake. keep fighting jinah and remember to not go on diets but rather incorporate healthy foods into your lifestyle. that way you can eat healthy no matter where you are :)

Nu Nu Doll said...

Oh Jinah don't worry about those 5lbs, you look amazing! :) It's deff. easier to stay healthy once you're away from all that comfort and junk food! It's so sad to hear that you gfs ditched you. I know the feeling too, I prefer guy friends too! haha That shall change someday when we meet!!! :) Have a safe trip back love! xo

Siluet said...

Just like the other ladies...you're fine!! :) You'll lose the 5lbs in no time since you were already in a routine in NY! Besides, you look wonderful! That sux ur girlfriends didn't call you back :( poo!! It's so funny that almost every girl I've known (friends or not) say the same thing. They prefer guy friends over girls...haha I think all of us that feel that way need to meet up. Maybe we'll get along! ♥

I'm excited you're going back to NY to see your bf! :) Happy for you!
Have a safe trip back "home" and good luck in school!!!!!

Stephanie said...

I am so happy for you because you seem so happy with your new bf. I have always had weight issues as well and I know it can interefere with relationships, but im happy to read that no matter what, your bf still LOVES you for you =] I t makes me happy when other people have awesome partners that truly care about them for who they are and not just the outer appearance. I loce rading your blog because you are so insparational to girls and thanks to you I will be trying my best to get healthy =]

Anonymous said...

Hi! I've been a silent reader for a while, but I just wanted to drop by and tell you how inspiring some of your posts are. It really takes so much energy and determination to change any single aspect of your life, so kudos for losing the weight and quitting smoking! Keep up the good work, I look forward to more of your posts/videos (:

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Janice said...

your blog is so inspiring! it's so honest and refreshing, and I can definitely relate to many of your posts -- especially the ones about developing your self-esteem.

i also can relate to your comments about female friends. i've always had trouble keeping female friends, but have long been resigned to the few male friends that i have.

keep up the good work!

Tammi_LA said...

Hi! I'm new to your blog and love it :) I know what you mean about food...I'm so addicted to everything BAD for me! :P But you don't have to worry, you're really pretty!! Can't wait to keep reading your posts!

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Amy Quintana said...

Hey Jinah!
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Anonymous said...

ohmygosh i know i hate it when phone ... inactive ...
its pretty depressing
especially for me since im still in high school
its the hit or miss period of life right ?
*sigh* and when u wake up to no messages ...
end of the day no messages ...
dont even have to charge ur phone cuz its so inactive

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