It's been a few days.. or.. a week? I've been MIA.. I know.. So many random things have happened over the last couple days..
THE GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:
-went up to Santa Ana to discuss my future at the Culinary Institute (My heart is set on this school!!)
-spent some good time with my baby nephew
-MET JUdyy.. (ItsJudyTime) from youtube.. We went clubbing in downtown =) She's a super hottie!!!!!!! and she's got CURVESSSSSSS!! We both got wayyyyyyyy too faded..
-Went to the Haunted HOtel in Downtown.. it was the BESTTTTTTTTTTTT haunted kind of entertainment thingy to do!!!!! Super scary!!
-Had a long good talk with my mom.. she's so supportive!
-Made up with my boyfriend (you'll see on the bad things that happened)
K so that somes up the goOOOOOOD.
The HORRIBLE THINGS THAT HAPPENED:
-My car broke down on the way back down from Santa Ana.
-My car got towed to the nearest shop ($75.00), and was diagnosed WRONG ($50.00), was stuck in Encinitas.. until my boyfriend came.. which made him miss a very important day in class..
-Because the diagnosis was wrong.. we ended up buying the wrong parts.. for the car.. ($500.00)
-Got another diagnosis from ANOTHER shop.. and well.. my engine is screwed. (it's going to cost between $1500-$2000).
-Having no car.. I haven't been able to work out.. and I haven't been able to eat right.. with my car financial stress.. UGH. = GAIN WEIGHT
-Brother & family lash out at me.. about my car. They make me feel like shit.. by rubbing it in my face... saying how because they're helping me out.. they're sacrificing soooooooo much. -__________-;
-My car problems.. and the $$ situation brings drama into the family.
-Gain weight + my car problems + my bank account being effed + my family drama= the start of a VERY depressing weekend.
-Back and forth I drove to encinitas the whole weekend (45 miles from my house).. to find a solution.. no solution yet.
-My brother and I got in a huge effing fight.. over my car. bad. bad. bad. I broke out screaming and crying so hard.. that i was quivering.. and him.. well.. if you guys know Koreans.. we've got the worst tempers ever.. he pretty much reached his peak. His hands were fisted lets just say.
-Saturday night the boyfriend wants to go out.. I feel like shit.. i look like shit.. i feel fat as shit.. im broke as shit.. PLUSSSSSSSSss the whole week my boyfriend was really antsy.. he ALSO kept lashing out on me. I didn't want to go out.. and see anyone.. nor talk to anyone.. or DO anything.. because I was on the verge of wanting to lock myself in my closet.
-That was the beginning of the worst fight that my boyfriend and I have ever been in.
-Drama. drama. drama. Finally.. we both spill.. and I find out some really... shocking things from him.
-Bottom line: I'm a selfish. unthankful. very very very BAD BAD BAD girlfriend.
He deserves so much more. He works so hard. Can't say much more.. cause it's private.. but.. I realize that.. weight... and looking good.. and makeup.. all of this beauty stuff.. that i've been obsessing over the past few months.. needs to STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It really does. In this life of mine.. all I can do is think about myself.. really.. that's the bottom line.. I always.. think just about myself.. how I feel ugly.. how I feel fat.. how I can't afford this.. how I can't afford that.. how i feel like crap.. how I wish this.. wish that..
It needs to stop.
While I'm spending my money on alllllllllll these worthless things.. my boyfriend is working his ass off.. and getting hardly any sleep.. to make a future for the both of us.. Ridiculous. Pathetic. Really.
PLUSSSSSS the economy is CRAP!!!!!! Financially.. our family.. is in a financial crisis... my ridiculous useless habits... are really pathetic.
Time to straighten up.
-I'm completely on a shopping strike. NO makeup. NO clothes. NO NOTHING!!(so far so good)
-My cards have been stashed away.. = no more spending at all.
-Money.. I'm going to work my ass off the next few months.. and get rid of all my bills.
-Diet? It's on a hold. Eff being skinny right now.. If my boyfriend has to sacrifice.. time.. and money.. and sleep.. and all this other stuff.. just to fulfill my self esteem.. it's CRAP. I'll work out & diet when my life is stable.
-Makeup? I'm not quiting it =). I LOVE makeup.. it's become.. a hobby of mine.. I'm more interested with what I can do with my makeup.. then buying more makeup. I'm over my shopping obsession. OOOOOOOOoo (I got a call today.. from a random girl.. asking me to do her makeup? WHOA!!!!! First makeup JOB?!!?! Crazy huh!I'll be doing it on Friday)
K.. so there's everything in a nutshell.. I have lots of random pictures.. and videos for you guys.. but.. i'm just... really tied up.. Hope you guys can bear with me.