my life as it is.. i.m.perfect

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Everyday is a new day

Last night.. after I blogged... I went in the room.. and laid down next to Bong.. and I had the most... amazing talk with him. I truely am the most luckiest girl. He's such an amazing guy.. he loves me so much. Without any words.. in the dark he just held me.. and he knew.. he knew I was broken.. and held me even harder.. then he looked at me.. and began to speak to me things that I never believed a guy would ever say to me. Everything he said to me.. was so.. full of unconditional love.. I wish you guys could've been there to hear what he said..

anyway.. to all of you ladies out there.. that don't think you'll ever find your dream guy.. just wait. be patient. don't settle down for anything less than your worth! He's out there.. looking for you.. waiting for you.. and once you find him.. it'll be a God-sent blessing. I believe in God. I believe that he listens to me.. and hurts and when I hurt.. and I believe that he sent me him.. him.. who comforts me.. and cherishes me.. and puts me on a pedal stool.. respecting me.. and everything I love. No words can express the gratitude I feel for the relationship that I have.

I use to make excuses to myself before.. in my past relationships.. saying this is all I deserve. This guy does the things he does.. to me because this is all I can have. I use to bash myself thinking I wouldn't ever find anyone else. Thinking that I'd be stuck with who I'm with for the rest of my life. But I was wrong... and you know.. I don't regret the crap that I went through.. because if I didn't go through it.. I would've never learned.. never gotten stronger.. never have expectations.. each relationship in my past taught me something new. Something amazing.
Pain.. it's just a learning process.

It's sooooooo funny.. cause my parents are actually content with Bong.. which is a FIRST.. but you know what my mom said to me? LOL.. in Korean.. she's like.. "you know.. I know Bong is chah-kae (good intentional & good hearted).. and he's smart.. and he treats you well.. but... BUTTTTT... why does he have to be so ugly".
AHHHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAha. I busted out laughing so hard.. You know.. in my eyes.. I don't see anything but perfection.. he has pimples.. and his farts stink.. and he has a WEIRDDDDDDDDDDDDDD fetish for smells.. like.. LOL.. he ALWAYSSSSSs smells my arm pits.. and even my toes.. and it's disgusting.. but AHHHAHAHAHHA... i love it. I love who he is.. I LOVEEEEEEe that.. he loves my imperfections.. I really really really don't see anything but love. Who would've ever thought. I use to dream of Justin Timberlake being my husband one day.. LOLLLLLLLL.. not some.. filipino.. bald headed.. monkey butt.. who talks to himself while he takes a crap.. and smells his own feet. AHHAHAHAHHahhhahahahahhahaha.

AHahaha.

Ok anyway..... big post. I have lots of pictures and random stuff to catch up with you guys.. from the last week. =)

First things first.. Here's the looks I wore.. the last 2 days.. I've been practicing doing makeup the same way the MAC artist did on me.. just to get more comfortable with it =)

This is pretty much the same look as the last one with the NYX except I used a purple instead.. it ended up looking pretty much the same



and the look I did today...
I used MAC's Humid instead of the Contrast...
a color you can use as a dupe= NYX mermaid green =)





k.. so.. yesterday..
this donkey of a teenager.. was playing with a lighter.. and got his house on fire.. -_- and it was right behind my house..
the view from my window




MOREEEEEEe makeup stuff.. I went to sephora like.. 4 days ago or so.. and I picked up that special edition thingy.. from sephora =).. It was $48.00? The payoff is pretty gooooood.. I like it =) supposely.. the sales girl told me.. that the company they used to make the whole.. collection.. used better quality ingredients than Sephoras signature stuff.. Don't know if that's true.. but anyway =)






oKKKKKKk sooooooo.. Today I also went to Nordstrom rack with my mamma.. and we were just.. trying on some clothes.. I tried on my first pair of designer.. stuff..
True Religion skirt? I like it!! Except.. IT'S FRIGGIN OVER $100.00!!!!!!!!!! RETAIL was like.. $3XX.00!! Jeez. must be nice for those that can afford this stuff.. HAHAHAHA..

That.. top I'm wearing!! IS SUPERRRRRRR cute! I bought it for like.. $16. and a few cents.. I usually wear an XL. YUPPPPP.. my gut is no joke.. but.. I bought it in a Large instead cause that's my goal.. FIT INTO IT.. LOL. That's my way of getting myself to be more determined!!!!! Can't wait till i lose enough weight for it to fit nicely!!!! Don't be fooled by my legs.. LOL.. my legs are rather thin.. and so are my arms.. but.. my gut= OOMPA LOOOOOOOOOOMPAAAAA baby! hahaha.

Since we're on this topic.. let me just show you guys what i looked like in san jose.. are you ready?!? Cause.. this is humiliating to the x power. Why oh why do I want to show you guys? Cause I never want to look like this again. ever. I was approx. between 193-200 lbs here.




crazy huh? Yeah..


I think I'm donesky for today =). I'm gonna hit the gym before I go home.. cause I'm in BOng's garage once again.. hanging out.. with a few of his friends. Sooooooooooo.. I will talk to you guys soon =).
Thanks for dealing with me<3

12 comments:

BedtimeCake said...

Hi hun! I just started reading your blog and your GORGEOUS!! I love, love, love your eyes.... Have a good time at the gym!

Anonymous said...

i've been reading your blog for a while now but have never commented but i check frequently! i love your honest you are in your blogs! You are actually really pretty>__> like in the days when you weighed a little more...you actually pulled it off0_0 i knw that might sound weird but you CAN PULL OF ANYTHING. i don't know how you do it! i'm so jealous lol>__>

CupcakeLove said...

Jinah !
That teenager is stupid. Playing with a lighter in the house, what's going on in his head?
oOh True Religion bottoms are HOTT & that skirt definitely looks hot on you =)


Even though you don't like it, you still look cute when you were a little bigger. You did a GREAT job to get to where you are now hun =)

<3

Jennifer @ www.aegiscode.net said...

girl u r are beautiful, i love all the looks u did...makes me wanna try it now :D

and i can tell ur getting skinnier i can see it in ur face! and even in ur pics in the end ur still very pretty!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

honey u r gorgeous big or skinny. i know u hear it, but honestly u r!

Christiana Divine @ Memoirs of A Shopping Addict said...

hi, i just stumbled across your blog. :) good stuff! :D

i commend you for putting your old pictures of you up! alot of people wouldn't, but you did, so kudos for that. also, kudos for putting in that work to lose weight. that takes some serious dedication & hard work. :)

gorgeous looks by the way. both of them are very pretty! :D

vietbaby said...

love the look!! u are so cute

rasilla said...

I clicked on your link, because I thought to myself "hey, I think her last name is korean..."

And I always like to see what other koreans around the world are up to.

And thankgoodness I clicked! I love all the looks you do! I didn't even realize you were a monolid! I don't have that much talent in terms of shadows, but I'm learning. trial and error :P

Anyway, good for you for sticking it through and losing weight. I keep saying I will...but a sick little part of me wants to defy the view that all asian women need to be skinny. lol. though it really is just an excuse for me being really lazy, sigh :T

Anonymous said...

hey i am one of your youtube subscribers, This is going to sound freaky, but the girl in the picture of you when you werein SJ goes to my college(SJSU) and is in my classes... WTF

Kamiseta said...

Are you kidding me?! The fire was so close to my old high school! I was shocked.

Anonymous said...

omg, jinah, i totally envy you. i wish we could be partners in crime. losing weight together.
i never have that backbone support so my attempts to losing weight always fail. How tall are you anyway?..you looked so skinny during your old pixies.
Anyway, I envy YOU! again. So keep it up. You are georgeous(sp?) haha. Anyway hope to see more blogs up. I'm truly inspired!

Jaynie said...

Hi! I'm a subscriber on YouTube, and I just wanted to tell you that I adore your videos and the blog is fantastic.

Thanks for writing that bit about love/relationships in the beginning of this entry. It's wonderful that you and Bong have such a great bond! That's what I hope for one day when I'm better ready to be in a relationship, and it's what I'm always yakking at my ladies about. Reading your entry made me feel excited about my future loves, you know? :)

PS: Your photos aren't showing up!

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