my life as it is.. i.m.perfect

Thursday, May 28, 2009

What to do what to do!!

Gotta do this realll quick cause I'm a running a bit late before class =]
So first is first..
Weightloss update: -9.6 lbs.
WHich brings me to: 154.1 lbs.
Not bad right? I was stuck at 8.5 for 4 days. =_= and actually.. it fluctuated like a mad donkey. Wasn't very happy.. But the reality of it is, my weightloss is going to slow down drastically now that I'm getting closer. BOOOOOOOOOOO!!! It's so hard =(

Seriously.. it's so hard =(. How're you ladies doing with your weight loss?!

Ok so here are some pictures from class. I haven't had the time to take everything we've made but here are a few.
Us goofing around at the end of the day.. tired.. from all the hellish cooking & cleaning.
Braised Red Cabbage.. yumm... cooked it in with some honey.. fresh squeezed orange juice.. chicken stock.. a bunch of spices & aromatics.. and topped it with fresh chiffonade parsley =]
Chateau Potatoes. =] To break it down, they're tournes cut red bliss potatoes... You can't see but these things are so frigging hard to cut! It's like.. a 7 sided football.. All cut by hand.. REALLY hard to cut.. This is my first time doing it.. and i actually did pretty good =)
Duchess Potatoes

Simple, basic red tomato sauce pasta

My first vinaigerette salad... Chef says that salads should never ever ever have sauce drooping off the plate.. You should be able to eat it all and not have any left over sauce... On the other hand, it should have enough to coat the greens so that it glistens =]

OKKKKKKKKEY DOKE! So this part.. if my buddy finds out i posted this.. LOL he'll kill me. But ladies =) Meet my new fabulous gay (he's amazing) bossom buddy Derrick. He's FABULOUS. He's not only one of my new closest friends.. but he's my shopping buddy.. my walking coach LOL... and my model LOL.
This night I did his hair black and we figured hey, maybe I can get in some practice while i'm at it =)
Soooooooooo I used MAC's pigment in TEAL (thanks PETITE!!!), Carbon, MAc's pigment in grape, brule, gorgeous gold, etc. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!!!!! ahahah! And it looked amazing no?

Ok so check it out! MY FIRST EVER PAIR OF stilettos!! HOLY COW! Guess who persuaded me in getting them? LOL. Thanks Derrick. jeeez luiz. I don't have shoes.. and now that Derrick and I kick it all the time.. he thinks it's the best to pump me up LOL. -_- but they're amazing aren't they?!!? Ok i have a TON more to say & post but i gotta get ready for class so I'll update in a bit! Love you ladies =)
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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Negative people drive me WILD!!!!!

amazing how much of a BUTTTARD people can be! Not to mention any specific names. But GRRRRRRRRr! People who consistently bash other people and complain and have their noses stuck up their asshole so high up that it pops out of their eyeballs drive me NUTTS!!!!!!!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't be like this ladies.
I've come to realize that the real reason I don't have that many close girlfriends is because I can't standdddddddddddd how ridiculous girls can be at times. I mean, PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME! Why the hellllllllllll do girls hang out everyday then go behind each others back and just talk massive shit?! WHY?! WHY WHY?!! Why can't everyone just shut their mouths and grow up.

Ugh. So not attractive. I mean I'll be hanging out with a group of people to socialize, then when the guys leave it's like. .OK GOSSIP TIME! It's ugly. IT's NOT COOL. How can you go up to someone and be like hey!! how're you then turn around and be like, i hate how they talk, they annoy me, they're so lazy, they're blablablabla. SHUT UP!!

It annoys me so bad, I usually have to walk away.

ORRRRRRRRRRRR i love how people barely know you but they bash you. Like at school there's a few people that I just wanna shove my foot up their butts. They barely know me, yet they have the nerve to call me names like "slut" or "bitch" cause they think it's funny. I'm not cool with that. They do it jokingly but, still. I don't think it's acceptable in ANYWAY to be called either endlessssss it's a mutual thing between two friends that are close, but even still! ORRRR like, I'll be talking to some people about my weight loss progress and they keep telling me nonono, you're not doing this right, you're not doing that right. LIKe.. STFU! I lost 40lbs already, I KNOW HOW TO EFFING diet and EFFING exercise. just SHUT UP. I mean, yesterday someone was asking me what i ate for breakfast so i said, A cup of cereal and an apple. What'd he say?! the effing kid goes.. OH that's wayyyyyyy too much! I'm like are you fucking kidding me?! that's 300 calories how much less can you eat!!!!!!!!!!! idiot.

I despise how people don't know how to smile. SMILE GOSH DAMNIT! Negative auras turn me off. I'm usually all smiles and laughs... I can't help but to smile.. but when i see a girl that comes along that doesn't smile.. has her arms crossed and just stares you down.. I wanna kick them in the face! UGLY I TELL YOU!

I hate hate hate.. gossip.. i hateeeeeeeeee how people are nosy... i hateeeeee people who make fun of other people without stepping into their shoes.. i despise people that judge people without knowing them.. and for crying out loud DONT FUCKING pick on people over stupid SHIT! ugh.

sorry. I just had to vent that. I find it rare to find genuine people nowadays.

to change the tone,
SChool is phenomenal! I wish i can take you guys with me to class... I'm learning so much! here's a few pictures of the last few days =]

oven baked cauliflower gratin topped with persillade :]

tomato stuffed mushroom duxelle topped with persilladeremember consomme? this is Consomme work in progress! All of that in there goes to garbage later! What's in it? 12 oz. of ground chicken, diced tomatoes, celery, onions, carrots, 3 egg whites, salt, pepper, cloves, bay leaf, parsley stems! OH duh and the onion brule?

Drain & straining process

Wala! One expensive Consomme! Clear as apple juice right?! It's amazing! Not a drip of oil!Steamed broccoli w/ fresh made Hollandaise (my first time making hollandaise!)

okey that's that!

Weight losssssssssss log!!
I'm down 7.5 =) Brings me to 156.4!
Slowly but surely getting there. I'm ecstatic!

Anyway, I have 3 tests back to back until friday.. I have my knife practical today, a written final tomorrow and a cooking practical on friday. AHHHHHH! Wish me luck!!

i'm looking forward to the weekend! Do you guys have anything interesting planned!?!? Let me know your progresses! We can do it, we can do it!!!!!!! Have a wonderful day ladies =] <3
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Monday, May 18, 2009

the start of week 3 =] AMAZING!

Today is the start of week 3.. and i'm simply amazed!

Weigh in today: 157.4!!!!!
HOLY SHIT!!!! that brings me to: -6.4lbs

I'm ecstatic!! Once again, I've never been this weight! EVER!

I'm so glad to hear the response I've gotten from you ladies =] I'd loveeeeeeee to hear your progress. I was actually thinking that on like... Wednesday nights maybe around 10pm we can blogtv it up? So we can all support each other or what not and talk about whatever else! Relationships, makeup, ahahahaha whatever! What do you guys think? Or maybe not even blogtv, maybe just an AIM chat room? It's really hard for me to connect with everyone through my blog or facebook or myspace or whatever. I'd love to be able to talk to you guys in real time!

ANYWAY! Here are some KEY TIPS that i think are really important personally when you're dieting. (my own beliefs)
  1. DON'T STARVE YOURSELF. - If you're feeling hunger pains, it's a direct sign from your body saying that it's starving and that it's going to take action by storing what you feed it directly into your fat storage. NO GOOD. Your body knows what its doing, be ahead of the game and smarter than your body. Just don't starve yourself point blank.
  2. If you're hungry at night, HUNGRY, not craving munchies but you're hungry, eat! I've been researching alot about the whole eating past a certain time thing and pretty much it's BS. What they're trying to say is... they don't recommend eating at night because we tend to bring out all the bad stuff while watching tv and lalala which is totally true. They said no matter what time you eat, you're burning the same amount of calories at the same ratio.
    My recommendation: Eat a light snack, like an apple or some light popcorn. But only enough so that you're not hungry. NOT FULL, just not hungry. ( I do it all the time and based on my body I've never had a problem with it. I use to go to In-N-Out burger at 1am after I worked out because I was hungry as hell. I ate a hamburger protein style (lettuce wrap) with mustard, extra lettuce, extra tomatoes, extra onions annnnnd grilled onions - and no they don't put any oil in their onions). It's only like... 165 calories or something because their patties are 1/8 of a lbs.
  3. SLEEP! This i've learned the hard way. There is no way in heck you're going to lose weight without getting the proper sleep. Last week my weight was fluctuating like mad cow and I know my body well enough to know that it wasn't just water weight. It was just... exhausted. I was getting 4-5 hours a sleep and doing intense workouts.. The last 5 days I've been getting between 7-8 hours of sleep and I'm telling you, it makes a WORLD of a difference.
  4. DON'T CUT OUT CARBS AND SOME OILS, If you cut out allllllllll your carbs and all your oils, you're just going to crave them more. Balance your diet. Eat bread, eat rice, eat some oil just eat it in proportion and try to go as natural as you can! I eat whole wheat bread and half a cup of rice when I see it, olive oil goes on my salad (about 1/2 a tablespoon). That way you don't get the cravings!
  5. Vegetables & Fruits are your best friend. Our bodies are created to eat as natural as it can so naturally it processes these foods easily and makes you leaner. Just think common sense. Think the stone ages. They never put a ton of salt and pepper and mayo and blablablaa. They ate foods wholesomely. PLUS you can eat as much of this as you want! It just makes you digest better!
  6. Give yourself some cheat days. THIS IS OPTIONAL. On my own belief it works out great for me. Weekends are my days to relax both in working out and dieting. This way, my body won't be too stressed from eating soooooooo healthy soooooo fast. Definitely eat in proportion of course but I myself don't limit to what I can eat on the weekends. I mean yesterday I went to a BBQ and ate a burger and chips and ribs and cookies and all the other junk. LOL. Butttttt I stopped before I was KO'D. you know?
  7. Eat protein. Please please please PLEASE don't end up eating cereal three times a day because it's low in calories. That's the WORST possible diet you can do. THAT is not a diet, that's called MALNUTRITION! Eat a balanced diet! EAT THE PYRAMID! Make sure to eat some protein, we're meant to! It makes you leaner! Fish, Chicken, Turkey, Steak, whatever! Get some, somewhere!

=] HOpe this was helpful! Anyway, moving on here's some pictures from class and over the weekend!

my classmate burned his chin, went to the nurses office and they ended up bandaging his whole head! LOL poor taylor!

Thhisss is the way i eat my cream of broccoli Ahahahaha~!
Original cream of broccoli that i took to chef. GRADE: 100% =]How I eat my fish chowder!!!!!! YUMMMm tobasscccoo me baby!

How i took it to chef. 100% =]

My look for the weekend! ELECTRIC EEL & carbon!
One of my best friends here at school John =)
Look at the dress i bought at Forever21!!!! $25!! Pretty huh?

Have a good day ladies =]
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Thursday, May 14, 2009

Challenging Yourself

Good morning loves =)
So I've been getting alot of messages about how I get the motivation to work out and change my lifestyle... So I've been thinking about how I get myself to do what I've been doing and the outcome is...

By reminding myself what I don't want to be. Working out everyday shows a lot of self discipline and determination. It sure as hell isn't easy. I mean think about it, how many of us say that we're going to work out and lose weight but don't do it? It's rarer then you guys might think, to find a person nowadays that does what they say they're going to do. That's how i get motivated personally. I don't want to be known as the lazy one, I don't want to be known as the fat girl that just whines about her weight but does nothing about it, I don't want people not believing what I say or doubting me. I want to be assertive and prove to others that i DO have the self discipline, that I AM not lazy, that I CAN do things that i say i'm going to do. Because overall, when you say you're going to do something and you don't, not just when it comes to weight, but everything in general, people attach that to your character.

Think positive girls, push yourself, force yourself, don't make excuses. Don't even give yourself TIME to make excuses. Truthfully i wake up thinking, "FUGGGg.. i don't want to work out.." and you know what I do? As soon as i say that.. I'm already getting dressed to go to the gym. I don't lounge around thinking about maybe I should just rest. I just force my body to start heading to the gym even if I want to bail. Sometimes it's so hard I want to cry. But... I just do it and by the time I let myself think again, I'm done! It's hard work! I know! and it's sooooooo hard! I know.. believe me. But you HAVE to do it if you want to change.

Change is hard work. Change is also one of the most admirable traits in my opinion. A person that can change themselves can do anything. Don't get stuck in your comfort zone, don't allow yourself to limit your potential. WHY do you want to stay as you are if you can work to become even MORE AMAZING!

I know it's hard, but I know!!! everyone can do it.

Another thing, stay positive. STOP the negative comments, stop talking to yourself badly. STOP crtitizing your body. I'm now learning to appreciate myself in all aspects. It really does hurt your self esteem horribly when you keep looking at yourself in the mirror and saying.. "fugg.. i'm too fat.. fug.. i'm so ugly.. fugg.. i wish i were different" STOP!!!!

I'm still learning to do the same but lets work at it together you know?! We can be amazing, people appreciate confident women. MEN yes, MEN adore women that are confident even if they got some chubs on them!

I love you guys and from the deepest depths of my heart hope that you find the point in your life where you come to realize that it is possible, that you are amazing and that you are beautiful both inside and out.

Especially you youngins =).
A note to my little cutie patootie girls, you don't have to be stick skinny, don't think you have to be perfect. You guys will learn in time that, that is not what matters!

Have a wonderful Thursday loves! <3 will =")">

LOL. I totally forgot. I have more pictures of what I did in class to show you guys!

M y work station =)
My amazing chef!
My Knife tray before I did my precision cutsMy knife tray after I did my precision cuts!
(top- thin slice onion, small dice onion, tomato concasse, bottom minced shallot, minced garlic, Parsley chiffonade, sachet, med dice 1/2" x 1/2" potato (literally.. exactly.. ), Potato julienne/ allumette 1/8"x1/8" -1-2", potato brunoise 1/8"x1/8"x1/8", potato batonnet 1/4x1/4- 1-2 1/2")
I made lentil puree yesterday with croutons, lemon juice & fresh chervil =)

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

trial and error!

Hey ladies!
So apparently, my body's on strike! LOL. I definitely haven't been listening to its needs because rather than having more energy, I've been tired like hell. Even worst, I gained back 2 pounds, but I know it's definitely not because of my diet. Bottom line, I need to chill and take my routine easier. I think i've been working myself way too much anddddddddddd big big big big thing, I haven't been sleeping enough. I average about 4-5 hours a sleep a day and DUR DUR DUR if you're working out twice a day your body obviously needs more right?!?! Plus my calorie intake isn't that much which probably is the reason why I'm just.. gaining back water weight.

On a positive note, I've been resting for the last few days and I'm making an effort to sleep longer. Last night I actually got my 8 hours of sleep and today I feel great! Anyway here's how the weight has been looking:
Day 5 Friday: 159.7
Day 6 Monday: 161

Goals for the week:
*Eat more, and more frequently
* Sleep 8 hours min

As far as class! I made consomme for the first time the other day! That was amazing!! Consomme if you guys don't know (cause i didn't know what it was) is also known as King's Soup. If you look at it, it looks like apple juice. LOL. By glancing you would think wtf it's just broth. But it's a $12 soup min. at most fine dine restaurants! The reason why it's so expensive? We use a pound of ground meat and about half a pound of veggies + spices to make 1 quart of soup.. That pound of meat & everything else goes into the garbage. So all that's there, is soup as clear as water with firework flavors all over the place. ahahaha! The process in making it, is AMAZING! I actually asked my chef if i could bring in my camera to take pictures and such... and he said yes! So i'll show you guys what i make the next couple days =]

Anyway I gotta run. I'm gonna head to the gym!
I love you ladies <3 <3 <3 have a wonderful wednesday!!

Some Recent Videos:

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Thursday, May 7, 2009

Day 4!! Weight Loss Photo Progression

Today is day 4.. of my torture in hell. LOL Seriously. I feel like it's not getting any easier!!!!!!!! And this whole quit smoking thing is ridiculous. I haven't cheated yet.. but it's so tempting. BLAH!!!1 bad habit bad habit! Shame on me for even starting. now it's just super hard to quit.

-___________-; On a brighter note.. I weighed in at 160 today!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOt!!! That's the LOWEST i've ever been since like.... junior high school!!!!!!!
Day 1- Monday- 163.8 lb

Day 2- Tuesday- 162.2
Day 3- Wednesday- 161.3
Day 4- Thursday-160!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm hoping i
hit the 5's tomorrow!!!!!!! That'll be so freaking crazy. You guys have NOOOOOOOO idea.. how ecstatic I am.. I mean.. HOLY SHIT. I've been a fat girl all my life.. and things are changing up now. I'm so determined to change my lifestyle. No more fat girlness! I want to be healthy, happy, beautiful, proactive, assertive!! Anyway. =) had a cup of cereal.. an apple.. and green tea for breakfast =). Did my same workout this morning. Gotta pick up my laundry.. so i'll talk to you ladies later!! To everyone trying to lose weight.. WE CAN DO IT WE CAN DO IT!! =)

Here are some old pictures.. of me when i reached 200lbs.
Maybe it'll motivate you guys? It sure as heck motivates me.

Here are some more recent pictures.. with me starting to lose weight.. then me now..

kkkkkkkk gotta pick up my laundry!! Have a great day ladies!

OOO By the way!!!!!! Here's a note I got from one of my closest friends.. on relationships.. thought it was frigging awesome.. thought i'd share!



I decided to write a short (hopefully!) , sweet note about this book/movie. It was written by Greg and Liz.

Its great for all women to read/watch...whether you're single, taken, married, dating, etc.

Here are some important parts throughout each chapter.

he's just not that into you if he's not asking you out...
Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out...

If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.

Men don't forget how much they like you. So put the phone down.

You are good enough to be asked out :)

he's just not that into you if he's not calling you...
Men know how to use the phone.

"Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. Bullshit. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to...If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which could be a day that I would never be too busy to call you."

The big question here is, "Is it okay for a guy to forget to call me?" I'm saying to you, "No." If I like you, I don't forget you, ever. Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?

If he's not calling you, it's because you are not in his mind.

If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things.

"Busy" is another word for "asshole." "Asshole" is another word for the guy you're dating.

he's just not that into you if he's not dating you...
"Hanging out" is not dating.

If you don't know where the relationship is going, it's okay to pull over and ask.

There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he's your boyfriend.

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